PUNS ok

WORDPLAY (PUNS and DOUBLE ENTENDRE)

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter * Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their Word. * Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
 

Did you guys hear the joke about the wall? It is hilarious, I am still trying to get over it. * Don't trust atoms, they make up everything. * Don't trust people that do acupuncture, they're back stabbers.
 
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too. * Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
 
I'm glad I know sign language. It's pretty Handy. * I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction * What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway (present).

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so / quite sure. * I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. * I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it. * 
 
I don't trust these stairs because they're always up to something * I had a dream I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea * I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes * I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
 
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time * I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me * I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.

If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.
 
My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I'm not sure what it stems from, but it seems likely I'll be stuck with it * My friend and I are moving into a tree house together. I just hope we never fall out * Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me (that) I could do it with my eyes closed. * So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!
 
The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting, then it let me down * Think outside the box; it’s too late once you’re in it * To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
 
How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg!n *  “I'm thinking the unthinkable”. (Iceberg with a lisp)
 
You can't blame gravity for falling in love.

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Play on Word Examples and Other Pun Things

What is the difference between a pun and a double entendre?

The latter doesn't seem to be used nearly as much as the former.  "No pun" intended seems common, but nobody really says "No double entendre" intended.  Are they interchangable?

- A pun is a joke ( ALWAYS A JOKE ) exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.

- A double entendre is a word or phrase open to two interpretations, one of which is usually risqué or indecent. Can be a joke but very seldom is.

Two similar concepts but very different ideas.

What is a Homophonic Pun?

A homophonic pun is a pun that utilizes word pairs that are similar in sound, but not spelling.
A punning word spelled differently
* What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer / No idear.


What is a Homographic Pun?

A homographic pun is one that utilize words that are spelled the same but contain differing sounds and definitions. These puns mainly rely on the sense of sound for understanding. "At a vegetarian Thanksgiving the head vegan said, 'Let-tuce pray.'" This homographic pun relies on a similar, yet not identical sound interchange between the word "lettuce" and the phrase "let us." ; punning words spelled the same

* At a vegetarian Thanksgiving the head vegan said, 'Let-tuce pray'.

What is a compound pun?                                                               A compound pun is a pun that utilizes the aforementioned pun types.

* Well, Will, All's well, that ends well.'" This pun contains the various pun forms and forms a compound pun because there are multiple puns with ambiguous meanings stated in the punch line.

Double Entendre Examples

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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. (try to find out)

.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.







Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.
 My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I'm not sure what it stems from, but it seems likely I'll be stuck with it.

So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!

Stop, I can't bear these animal jokes. (a bear talking)

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.


.

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

1. End position: We can use already at the end of a sentence for greater emphasis or to show greater surprise. This is especially common in informal speaking):Gosh, he’s finished painting the kitchen already! (end position is more emphatic) * It’s twelve o’clock already. (I’m surprised. I thought it was earlier). * Are you back already? (A is surprised that B has returned so soon.) 2.Mid position: in the normal mid position for adverbs: * We already knew that he was coming to visit. *  Joe’s already here, so we can begin. 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.  (Just as or when one wishes.)











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1. Word play or wordplay^[1] is a literary technique and a form of wit in which the words that are used become the main subject of the work, primarily for the purpose of intended effect or amusement. Examples of word play include puns, phonetic mix-ups such as spoonerisms, obscure words and meanings, clever rhetorical excursions, oddly formed sentences, double entendres, and telling character names (such as in the play The Importance of Being Earnest, Ernest being a given name that sounds exactly like the adjective earnest).
Word play is quite common in oral cultures as a method of reinforcing meaning.

Puns, also known as a play on words, are some of the wittiest, entertaining forms of humor. A pun is a turn of words or a phrase that plays off the same sound of different words or word combinations. Puns are also known as paronomasia in the realm of rhetoric. Initially, puns are deceptively tricky, but once mastered, puns are catchy phrases that can command the center of a conversation, draw consumers to a closer look at a product or article, and provide a general source of entertainment and humor. Four basic types of puns rooted in the intentional abuse of sounds and their inherent qualities are the homophonic, homographic, homonymic, and compound pun.

Puns may or may not involve two different spellings, but a pun by its nature requires that the two different interpretations have a similar sound.
The main technical terms for punning effects and words are:

• paronomasia - the punning effect - (see paronomasia)
• homophone - a punning word spelled differently - (see homophone)
• heteronym - one of several terms for punning words spelled the same - (see heteronyms, heterophones, etc)

Techniques

Some techniques often used in word play include interpreting idioms literally and creating contradictions and redundancies.

 Linguistic fossils and set phrases are often manipulated for word play, as in Wellerisms:

"We'll have to rehearse that," said the undertaker as the coffin fell out of the car.

Wellerisms, named after Sam Weller in Charles Dickens's The Pickwick Papers, make fun of established clichés and proverbs by showing that they are wrong in certain situations, often when taken literally. In this sense, wellerisms that include proverbs are a type of anti-proverb. Typically a wellerism consists of three parts: a proverb or saying, a speaker, and an often humorously literal explanation.
Sam Weller's propensity to use the types of constructions now called "wellerisms" have inspired plays; sometimes, the playwrights have created even more wellerisms.<sup>[2]


ENGLISH EXAMPLES OF WELLERISMS:</sup>
Everyone to his own taste," the old woman said when she kissed her cow.

"We'll have to rehearse that," said the undertaker as the coffin fell out of the car.

A body can get used to anything, even to being hanged, as the Irishman said. (Lucy Maud Montgomery--Anne of Green Gables)

"This week is beginning splendidly," said one who was to be hanged on Monday.

"Much noise and little wool," said the Devil when he sheared a pig.

"So I see," said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw.

"Simply remarkable," said the teacher when asked his opinion about the new dry-erase board.

A type of wellerism called a Tom Swifty incorporates a speaker attribution that puns on the quoted statement.
A Tom Swifty (or Tom Swiftie) is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed. Tom Swifties may be considered a type of wellerism.

EXAMPLES OF TOM SWIFTIES

• That's the last time I'll stick my arm in a lion's mouth," the lion-tamer said off-handedly. (offhand: without previous thought or preparation: to decide offhand to take a trip. 2 .adverb
  To reply offhand (cavalierly, curtly, or brusquely. Rudely brief in speech or abrupt in manner. )
• Careful with that chainsaw," Tom said offhandedly.
• I'm here," Tom said presently.
• "Happy Birthday," Tom said presently. (in a little while; son, archaic: immediately: They will be here presently).
• "It's freezing," Tom muttered icily.(in an icy manner): I received him icily because of the harsh way he had treated me. Related forms: iciness, (noun).
•  I wonder if this radium is radioactive?" asked Marie curiously. (eager to learn or know; inquisitive.adj: 1.given to inquiry, research, or asking questions; eager for knowledge; intellectually curious: an inquisitive mind. 2. unduly or inappropriately curious; prying.
  noun 3. an inquisitive person: thick curtains to frustrate inquisitives.

• I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner," said Tom succinctly. (What is relativity? Succinctly put, it is the notion that the laws of physics are the same everywhere. We here on Earth obey the same laws of light and gravity as someone in a far off corner of the universo.
• I stole the gold," Tom confessed guiltily (giltily: gold in color; Golden.)
• I used to be a criminal pilot," he ex-plained con-descendingly.showing or implying a usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority:
  They resented the older neighbors' condescending cordiality.

Truly, puns top the list as the wittiest and subtlest form of humor. This clever turn of phrase is prevalent through much of history, and was especially utilized by William Shakespeare. 

a turn of phrase:

1. a way of saying something 'Significant other', meaning 'partner', now that's an interesting turn of phrase.

2. the ability to express yourself well She has a nice turn of phrase which should serve her well in journalism.

              

Double Entendre Examples

A double entendre  is a figure of speech or a particular way of wording that is devised to be understood in either of two ways, having a double meaning. Typically one of the meanings is obvious, given the context whereas the other may require more thought. The innuendo may convey a message that would be socially awkward, sexually suggestive or offensive to state directly

It's used to "convey an indelicate meaning", it as "a word or phrase that may be understood in two different ways, one of which is often sexual").^[1]
A double entendre may exploit puns to convey the second meaning. Double entendres generally rely on multiple meanings of words, or different interpretations of the same primary meaning. They often exploit ambiguity and may be used to introduce it deliberately in a text. Sometimes a homophone (i.e., another word which sounds the same) can be used as a pun. When three or more meanings have been constructed, this is known as a "triple entendre", etc.

An innuendo is an insinuation or intimation about a person or thing, especially of a denigrating or a derogatory nature. It can also be a remark or question, typically disparaging; an indirect remark about somebody or something, usually suggesting something bad, mean or rude"

Historical Use of Double-Entendre

The name of the Belamy Brother's song "If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me." Would you hold it against me is an expression asking if you would be offended, but in this case, it can also be read as asking the person with the nice body to physically hold it against him. 

Accidental Double-Entendres

Because double-entendres are words or phrases that can be interpreted in two ways, they aren't always sexual in nature and sometimes they are not even intentional.
Some examples of accidental double-entendres that have been printed in newspapers or published on the Internet include:

• Panda mating fails: veterinarian takes over
• Miners refuse to work after death
• New obesity study looks for larger test group
• Children make nutritious snacks
• Criminals get nine months in violin case

Fun of the Double-Entendre

Double-entendres, when used intentionally, can be fun and entertaining because the idea is to get a laugh both from people in the know and from people who do not get the second (or sexual) meaning.
For example:

• In an episode of The Simpsons, when Marge was about to board a ship to Skull Island, Smithers said 'I think women and seamen don't mix." 
• In another episode of the Simpson's, gold is discovered in the river and Kent Brockman says "Thanks, Mayor Simpson! From now on, we'll all be taking golden showers."
• In Finding Nemo, the characters are told "Ok, everyone, think dirty thoughts!"

These are just a few of many examples, as often movie and television producers today will use double-entendres so that shows and movies are both entertaining for kids (who do not get the second, sexual or tawdry reference) and for parents who do.

Double Entendre Examples


Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box.

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A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.








Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box.


Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.




Did you guys hear the joke about the wall? It is hilarious, I am still trying to get over it.

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

I'm glad I know sign language. It's pretty handy.

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

unputdownable. adj. Informal: So well written and entertaining as to be difficult to put down.

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

I don't trust these stairs because they're always up to something.

I had a dream I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea.

I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!

I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so / quite sure.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not quite sure.

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.

I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.

If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I'm not sure what it stems from, but it seems likely I'll be stuck with it.

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!

Stop, I can't bear these animal jokes. (a bear talking)

Sleeping comes so naturally to me (that) I could do it with my eyes closed.

The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory because she was fed up with the whole business.

The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting, then it let me down.

The shoemaker did not deny his apprentice anything he needed. He gave his awl.



To write with a broken pencil is pointless.


When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.



What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).